John McCain - The Next American President

This time round, America has two excellent and noble presidential candidates. On the one hand you have the vastly experienced John McCain and on the other you have the meritocratic Barack Obama. However, on election night John McCain will become President. Why? Well, not because of anything John McCain says or does but because of the efforts of his stunning running mate, Sarah Palin. The press are apt to lampoon Mrs Palin whenever they get the chance but this has little effect on her support from the vast majority of working and middle class voters across America. (I know the polls suggest otherwise, but polls are usually wrong). In fact, in the eyes of mainstream America Sarah Palin's low standing with the press may be seen as a plus point. 

Each political party is the sum of it's individual personalities, and Americans will vote for the personalities that they identify with the most. John McCain is too old. Barack Obama is too intellectual. But Sarah Palin is just right. With her down to earth outlook on life, great beauty (for her race - notice I don't say "outstanding beauty for her race", that phrase would be reserved for Ann Coulter), anti abortionist views and strong belief in promoting good family values, Sarah Palin is sure to catapult the Republican party to an overwhelming victory on election night. John McCain has a lot to to thank Sarah Palin for.

Just as John McCain will owe his victory to a woman, so to will Barack Obama loose the presidential race because of a woman. Which woman you ask ? Michelle Obama that's who. That celebratory punch must surely have sealed Barack's fate.

Robert Peston - Please Shut Up!

Robert Peston claims to have considerable experience of financial markets both as an employee in the City of London and as a journalist. Surely then he of all people should know that markets are particularly susceptible to mood. Indices can fluctuate wildly from seemingly frivolous motives. We all know that the markets are in turmoil and we all know who the real culprits are. The source of the Credit Crunch is not too difficult to discern and most people just want things to get better sooner rather that later. There are, however, factors that can inhibit or prolong the road to recovery. Pessimism is one area that needs to be tackled and it is in no one's interest to have individuals or organisations constantly harping on about how bad things are. Robert Peston is one of the main protagonists of doom and gloom. I know Mr Peston would argue that he is only doing his job but these are, in his own words, "extraordinary times" so maybe he should consider not doing his job for a while. (Go on holiday Robert or, even better, become a monk). In fact, in order to stop the malaise, governments should impose partial or, in some cases, total restrictions on financial reporting in the media to complement any proposed bank bail out plans.